My Personal Modesty Standards

January 29, 2018





Hey y'all!

In my last post, I related to you my journey to modesty, which in case you missed it, is HERE. I want to thank every single one of you who commented on that post, your support means a lot to me!

As promised, I'm going to share my personal modesty standards. Be advised, I go into a lot more detail than a lot of other people do!

As a rule of thumb, I use the standard Catholic guidelines for modest dress, which are as follows:

Necklines cannot be lower than 2 inches (or 2 fingers) below the pit of the throat. (Your collarbone is a good indicator of where this lies.)
Sleeves cannot be shorter than quarter-sleeve (it originally was elbow, but the Vatican allows quarter-sleeves as a concession to the market).
Skirts need to be at least 2 inches below the knee (preferably 8 inches below the knee).

Avoid the following:
Sheer/transparent clothing (unless it has sufficient backing)
Nude color fabrics
Clingy or tight clothing
Masculine clothing

Most Church fathers heavily frowned the wearing of pants by women. It was never banned directly, but it has never been really regarded as a feminine article of clothing until recently. As I explained in my last post, I grew uncomfortable wearing pants by themselves after seeing what effects it had on men and society. I'm not totally adverse to the tunic-over-jeans approach, but I view it as a last resort in case more modest options aren't open to me.

How does this apply to me? 

Shirts:
  • Sleeve length
All of my shirt sleeves are at least quarter-sleeve (ends midway between the elbow and the shoulder). Basically, I'm looking for the sleeve to cover my armpit completely.
  • Opacity
I'll think twice about buying a shirt that I can see my underwear through. But, because a lot of my blouses are old hand-me-downs from my grandmother and my great-grandmothers, there are quite a few that wear a little on the sheer side. I've found that if I wear either a camisole or, preferably, a plain white undershirt underneath, it will fix the sheerness problem wonderfully.
  • The Fit
If I discover that a casual button-down shirt in my wardrobe is too tight fully buttoned but doesn't hug me when open, I'll wear a modest T-shirt underneath. But otherwise, if clings too tight...it gets either packed or given away.

Length matter to me as well. It has to be past my waist a fair bit in order for it to pass. Otherwise my shirt will pop up and expose my stomach area when I'm *trying* to be productive. As Duluth commercials point out very well, it's not exactly productive to keep tugging on your shirt.
  • Style
Color does not matter as much as the design and how the shirt is cut. I tend to avoid shirts that have similar patterns to men's dress shirts. Because women are curvy, I look for blouses that are cut that way (darts, princess seams, etc.). My favorite look in a blouse is the simple classy look instead of the frilly or lacy.

I'll wear almost any color (I do have to be careful with black as it tends to wash me out) except for peach and other skin tone colors (unless it's an undergarment).


Skirts/Dresses:
  •  Above all, NO SLITS!
Many women (Catholic, and non-Catholic alike) often wear skirts with slits in them, varying in size from 2 inches to almost the entire skirt-length. Most of the time, a slit is put into the skirt so that the woman can move more comfortably. Slits reveal, especially with movement; which is something that a skirt is not supposed to do.
  • Style and fit matters. 
I'm a stickler for how my skirts are draped over my figure. This is not because I'm self-conscious about how bad my figure looks - quite the opposite, actually.

To get a sense of what I mean, take a look at this photo that I snagged from Pixabay after almost an hour of pulling my hair out trying to find suitable photos.....  




See how the back of the skirt on the left hugs the derriere?

I can't stand that. It draws the attention to the derriere and not the face, where it truly belongs. This skirt is also tight enough that every line of her leg will be revealed as she walks.

The back of the skirt on the right, on the other hand, descends and flairs gently way from the woman's figure. There is enough fabric to have a curtain effect, which also helps to hide the figure.

I believe that the wider the skirt, the better. Being an active woman with a fairly long stride, I need room to MOVE. Especially since I still have to practically pole-vault into my bed at night....yes, my room is still that much of a mess. I'm working on it....

  • Opacity

I'll avoid garments made solely of lace and other sheer materials (like that outer layer of the skirt on the left of that picture). Most of the time, that isn't a problem when I'm shopping.
  • Undergarments
I also tend to be a stickler about wearing shorts and/or tights under my skirts. This is so, in case any unforeseen circumstances arise that cause parting with a skirt, I still have some protection from eyes. Footless tights (yes, there is such a thing) are my favorite to wear everyday.

I do wear petticoats with my skirts, but I'm not a stickler for them as much as the shorts/tights.


What is my style?

Modest dressing doesn't mean that you have to spend all of your days in prairie dresses or a potato sack. As old-fashioned as I am, my entire wardrobe is not made up of dresses from the Amish or centuries past. My style of clothing would probably be considered "Southern Country Girl Contemporary" because I like denim, flowers/calico, and plaid. 

Soooo, what is a typical ordinary outfit for me?

T-Shirt
Hoodie - zippered, usually
Long skirt (usually denim)
Tights/shorts - usually footless
White Socks
Sneakers or my black lace-up boots

For Mass, I'll wear:

A long dressy skirt (my favorites seem to be plaid or a solid color)
A button-down blouse (white or striped seem to be my options most of the time)
Stockings
Slip
Black lace-up boots, flats or heels
Sweater and undershirt if needed.

I honestly wish I had a better photo set-up so I could actually give photo examples of these. In lieu of this, I'll stick in a widget for my "Everyday Outfits" board on Pinterest.


Your turn to talk! Was this post interesting and helpful or extremely confusing? If you're a fellow modest dresser, do you have any tricks or standards you'd like to share? 

Old-fashionably yours,

Catherine

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10 comments

  1. This was a most interesting post, Catherine. Once again, it is commendable the way you stick to your principles.

    I'm simply wondering what you think of women who don't agree with your standards. Like, I'm sure you have friends (maybe family even?) who dress, at least by your standards, immodestly, right? I suppose what I'm asking is, do you see modesty as something personal to convictions or would you say that there is one right set of rules that, ideally, every woman should adhere to?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Elanor!

    That is a really good question. Most of my family and friends do dress decently - I'm not bothered by other women wearing pants, for example.

    I do have a problem with women wearing grossly immodest clothing - the plunging necklines, the cleavage, sheer clothing, etc. It's disgusting and distracting to me.

    Every human has free will, but common decency already requires some kind of modesty standard, if you think about it. I view modesty more as an ideal standard, but I embrace it because of convictions that I hold. (Hopefully, that isn't confusing....)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a very helpful post! Perhaps later today I'll write my own post on this subject :) Thanks for the inspiration!

    I love hearing about other lady's personal styles. Again, inspiration!

    I really am looking forward to getting Immodesty, Satan's Virtue. I think I'm really going to like it.

    God bless and thanks for posting!

    Sincerely in Jesus,

    Emma
    Gloria-In-Excelsis-Deo-blog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. My modesty standards are quite different, but I do respect yours very much. I think we all have different standards (or for some, no standards, unfortunately.) I agree that women shouldn't have plunging necklines or excessive showing of cleavage. I don't like the tiny short shorts where the bum sticks out.

    For me, I do wear shorts in the summer and pants in the winter, but my shorts aren't the super short kind. They're just normal shorts. I don't like skinny jeans, either.

    I think the fact that you stick to your convictions is commendable and shows you are strong in what you believe. Keep it up! <3 <3

    ~Ivie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm with Ivie on this one.

      But I do also admire your convictions and am impressed by your devotion. <3

      Delete
  5. I love this post. Thank you for sharing it on your blog. I find it inspiring. I love your clothes style. Plaids and denim are my favorites. I wish I had more of them. I do prefer men's t-shirts because they tend to have longer sleeves. All my woman's t-shirts have capped sleeves, which I don't like. I think I want to look into looking for elbow length sleeves.

    God Bless You,
    Eowyn

    thecatholicauthor.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! :D

      I'm hoping my sewing teacher can show me how to make good shirts.
      I get all my clothes at St. Vincents or Goodwill so I can't ever find a unisex category. But then I don't really look too hard. I'm usually in a hurry to get to the books. :D
      That's a good idea. I think would like to try that.

      Delete
    2. I know it's fairly easy to find patterns with quarter-length sleeves...at least the last time I looked.

      Oh yeah, that is a little difficult. I got a lot of my shirts from camps and events, so a lot of them are "unisex". But even older women's shirts should have fairly long sleeves (at least you would think so...)

      Delete
  6. This is an awesome post, Catherine!:)
    -Quinley

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post! How well put! You do a great service for all the young women out there by keeping this up!

    ReplyDelete

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