For You Shall Go to the Ball....with a Modest Dress!
July 13, 2022
Note: This post was originally published on the blog Maidens for Mary. I have since deleted it off of there, modified it and republished it here.
Hello all!
A dance!
A dance, when done right, is a proper diversion for a young lady. I will say that going to a secular high school prom or college dance is a dangerous occasion for sin for a Catholic maiden. A lot of modern dances accentuate hip movement and the songs are obscene. Even if you are modest in clothing, you still commit a sin of immodesty if you participate in such an activity. Plus, the modern style of dance just isn't flattering, no matter the clothing.
While I did enjoy my own secular prom at the time, hindsight really is 20/20. In the nearly 10 years since my own high school prom, I'm sure that the secular style of dance and music have only worsened.
Since then, I've grown a bit wiser since I have experienced good dances - especially church dances. So, if your homeschool co-op or church is hosting a dance, I would say GO! In this way, not only will you be properly chaperoned *another thing that secular dances lack - what do you know!* but the music and dances will be in much better taste.
It can take a few forms - a formal, a prom, or...just called a dance. It can include old styles of dances, such as reels and square dancing or classic ballroom dancing. Swing dancing has also become popular among some Catholic parishes.
Whatever the dance or event is called, the very idea of a dance usually causes headaches in the female ranks. Because the age-old question must be addressed:
"What in the world am I going to wear??"
A simple skirt and blouse doesn't cut it. For such a rare and formal occasion, it calls for a beautiful, elegant dress. Not something flashy, but one decorated with taste that leads the eye to the face. A dress that will make the girl's inner beauty shine.
I am of the opinion that every girl should have a formal dress in their closet, whether you wear it once or twenty times. The question is...how to get one?
Well, there are two ways - buying a dress and making a dress. I will, therefore, go through each and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods.
First......
Buying a Formal Dress
There are a few ways to buy a formal dress - the most common being shopping online. Unfortunately, one of the casualties of COVID was the department store, so that option doesn't exist for many people unless you happen to live near a large city. You can also buy a dress at a secondhand/thrift store, but like with any thrift store find, the condition is the biggest factor.
However, the plunging/off-shoulder bodices, the thigh slits, and booty-tight dresses are still out there, in large quantities.
Shopping online for dresses is easier in theory, but much more risky. For one thing, you can't always see what the actual product is until it gets to you, and there is no guarantee that it will fit even if it arrives on time. There are some online shops such as Jen Clothing and BM Bridal that have really pretty modest dresses for a good price, but I caution you that many shops outsource the actual manufacturing to Chinese sweatshops.
When looking at individual dresses, examine them front to back, and open up the skirt if looking in-store. The latter is paramount; it's important to know just how much movement the skirt is going to give you. And often, the slits are hidden in the folds of the skirt, making it look more modest than it really is!
A decent gown is one that doesn't have slits in it and has a solid bodice, with a fairly high neckline. When trying on such gowns, look out for tightness, especially in the hip and chest areas. Most formal gowns are floor length, so that shouldn't be an issue (if they are too long, they can be hemmed quite easily).
As many girls find out, the selection of formal gowns is often limited and too often just too immodest for wearing by itself. More than likely, one will still need to purchase a short bolero or sweater in order to cover the shoulders, back and arms. Fortunately, boleros are fairly easy to access through both physical and virtual stores.
Sewing a Formal Dress
It takes a fair amount of skill to sew a formal gown. Formal fabrics, such as satin, taffeta, and faille fabrics tend be beasts to work with.
Once you find the pattern of your choice, look at the back of the envelope to find out what fabric you need and how much, as well as any notions that you need (thread, zipper, etc.). From there, it's a simple matter of collecting the materials and following the instructions....with long hours over the sewing machine and serger. And yes, serging is necessary - fabrics such as satin really need to be finished because they fray very easily.
1. Have a plan set in place on how you will acquire the dress about 1-3 months before the actual date of the dance. This will give you time for research, and if you are going the seamstress route, gathering all the materials that you need.
2. If you have Pinterest, make a board for potential dress ideas. This will help narrow down the color and style you want to look for, and will give you ideas on how to decorate the dress tastefully, if you're seeing it.
3. Whether you are buying a dress or making one - be sure to choose a color that will flatter you! The last thing you want to look is washed out or sick! Look for a color that will bring out your eyes, make your complexion look uniform, and goes well with your hair. Do a drape test, if you can!
4. Match your accessories and shoes around the dress. For lighter dresses, white is a great accent color, and black for darker dresses. Just be careful again about being washed out! Also a note on the shoes - should you go for heels, I would heartily recommend 3" or less. There is no point in killing your ankles.
Our Lady greatly desires us maidens especially to be an example of modesty to others. While it is easy to do this on a day-to-day basis, for some situations like a dance, it can be more difficult.
Even though I'm not a fairy godmother who can whip out a dress from thin air....I do hope that this post was at least some help to you. For anyone that is going to a dance in the next few months, I wish you all a wonderful time...and dearly hope that you find a prince, if God so wills.
The other disadvantage of using this route is that it will take a lot more time. It will take between 50-100 hours between the pinning, cutting, serging, sewing, and decorating the dress.
But the feeling of pride, when you finish a dress like this, is wonderful. In a sense, it is a custom dress, one of your own design.
The first step is finding the pattern. A word of caution again: be careful if immodest patterns. Even vintage patterns sport low necklines and no sleeves. Unfortunately, it has been historic precedent over 200 years that women show more in evening gowns than in day dresses. Don't ask me why.
But the feeling of pride, when you finish a dress like this, is wonderful. In a sense, it is a custom dress, one of your own design.
The first step is finding the pattern. A word of caution again: be careful if immodest patterns. Even vintage patterns sport low necklines and no sleeves. Unfortunately, it has been historic precedent over 200 years that women show more in evening gowns than in day dresses. Don't ask me why.
However, there are modest patterns out there! Check the big companies first (McCalls, Butterick, Simplicity, etc.) and then if you are unsatisfied, try some of the patterns from this links page.
Once you find the pattern of your choice, look at the back of the envelope to find out what fabric you need and how much, as well as any notions that you need (thread, zipper, etc.). From there, it's a simple matter of collecting the materials and following the instructions....with long hours over the sewing machine and serger. And yes, serging is necessary - fabrics such as satin really need to be finished because they fray very easily.
General Tips
2. If you have Pinterest, make a board for potential dress ideas. This will help narrow down the color and style you want to look for, and will give you ideas on how to decorate the dress tastefully, if you're seeing it.
3. Whether you are buying a dress or making one - be sure to choose a color that will flatter you! The last thing you want to look is washed out or sick! Look for a color that will bring out your eyes, make your complexion look uniform, and goes well with your hair. Do a drape test, if you can!
4. Match your accessories and shoes around the dress. For lighter dresses, white is a great accent color, and black for darker dresses. Just be careful again about being washed out! Also a note on the shoes - should you go for heels, I would heartily recommend 3" or less. There is no point in killing your ankles.
Conclusion
Even though I'm not a fairy godmother who can whip out a dress from thin air....I do hope that this post was at least some help to you. For anyone that is going to a dance in the next few months, I wish you all a wonderful time...and dearly hope that you find a prince, if God so wills.
In Cordis Mariae,
Catherine
1 comments
Great post, Catherine! Totally agree with you on the sewing formal dresses front. Yes, the fancy fabrics can be a pain to work with, but it is totally worth it if you have a dress that fits you, flatters you, and makes you feel pretty all at once!
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